I often wonder what the process of infertility is for the guys, especially when the cause of infertility is due to a medical issue pertaining to him. On the surface it looks like all the guy has to do is give shots, maybe follow us gals to appointments, provide a sample, and put up with mood swings. I do not think it is as simple as that.
If I put myself in the guy’s shoes (knowing the reason for infertility was due to my biological make up.) I would likely feel a sense of guilt for each shot, invasive procedure, emotional meltdown, and so forth. I do think that in some respects the guys carry the weight of the world on their shoulders as they see their loved one going through these awful procedures.
I would also imagine that it would be difficult to express what it is like to be the guy in all of this. First of all, you are guys and it doesn’t come naturally to discuss things of this nature. Secondly, it is probably a reasonable assumption to think that guys feel like they must not let their “stuff” show because you (guys) want to protect us gals from any additional stressors. You (guys) want to be strong for us as we go through these procedures and letting your emotional baggage show is not part of showing that kind of strength. When in fact the opposite maybe true. Of course this is generalizing and may not be true to everyone, but when you (guys) seem basically unaffected by what is happening it makes us gals feel more alone in this process. Feeling alone and not part of a team creates a greater stress than if we knew you (guys) were also having your own feelings/emotions about what was happening.
Guys, it is not up to you to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Work together to figure out how to balance the emotional stuff that is taking place, even if it means the scales are still a bit tipped.