I was talking with a woman who has struggled with infertility. She has experienced a few miscarriages following infertility treatment. She told me one of the things that struck her most is how people assumed that she should be okay with the miscarriage. They thought it was easier to experience loss since there was a higher percent likelihood following her fertility treatments compared to if she would have conceived the old fashion way.
In her mind it was just as hard if not harder. Not only are you faced with the loss of a child, but you are reminded each time that to have a child you must go through a tremendous amount. Each loss is not only about losing a baby, but it is also about losing hope.
Let’s remember that loss is loss regardless of how we experience it. Respect those who are grieving and don’t make assumptions about how hard loss might be.