Unwanted

I was speaking with a colleague who told me of a coworker who experienced infertility issues. He/she works as Child Protective Services social worker.  Her coworker was handed cases for which infants needed to be removed from their homes to keep them safe.  My colleague spoke about how this situation was a difficult emotional process for her coworker.

When I was going through IVF the first time I had the opportunity to apply for a position at a group home for pregnant teens who needed support and a place to live.  The job sounded like an amazing opportunity, but I knew that I would not be able to look at those young women without feeling some resentment.

When news stories are reported of infants being left in dumpsters, abuse cases, neglect, or other forms of abandonment (excluding adoption cases) it strikes a nerve.  How can we fight so hard to have a baby; yet, these women who get pregnant unexpectedly do not know what a blessing they have.  The babies are unwanted.

When I finally did conceive via IVF I heard our babies heartbeat for the first time at 6 weeks.  I had a course where a classmate presented on abortion and how they terminate pregnancies humanely.  Up to that point I had believed in a women’s right to choose (and I still kind of do), but it sure struck a nerve when they were talking about aborting a baby that was further developed than 6 weeks.  It is hard to see that little flutter of a heartbeat and not think of that wee one as a person.

There are all sorts of internal struggles that occur when you think of someone who does not want or care for a child that they are physically able to have.  Tell us how you have processed some of these thoughts.

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This entry was posted in Awareness, Blame, Body, Grief, Guilt, infertility, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Stories, Support. Bookmark the permalink.

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