Care for Yourself

Educate yourself.  Education is power.

Give your partner time and space to process.  We don’t all process things in the same way.  Be aware that what you are experiencing may not be the same for your partner.  Be willing to listen and validate your partner’s feelings.  You may end up coming to the same conclusions at different times.

Communicate your emotions and fears to your partner.  When you speak about your own feelings, talk from your own perspective (don’t assume you know the perspective).  You can’t expect that your partner knows what is going on in your head.  You have to be clear about your needs, expectations and feelings.

Go to doctor’s appointments as a couple.  Not only does this show support for one another, but it also allows you to hear the same information from the medical professionals.  When you are overwhelmed it is easy to misinterpret or only hear parts of what your medical professional is trying to tell you.  Using each other as a resource is valuable.

Take care of your physical health.  Eat healthy meals and snacks. Exercise regularly (following advice and guidance by your physician if you are receiving fertility treatments).

Don’t forget to sleep!  Sleep can have a significant impact on your mind and body.

It is ok to laugh at yourself.  There are times where you just need to laugh.  This process can be an emotional rollercoaster and it is OK to add a little humor into the mix.

Know that periods of depression and anxiety may happen.  Everything won’t be flowers and sunshine all the time.  You must be prepared for days where you might feel a little sad or anxious.  Allow your self time to be true to your feelings and not keep them masked.  Masking your feelings can lead to breakdowns.  Be aware though if you are feeling depressed or anxious most of the time.  If you feel consumed by sad thoughts or anxiousness, it maybe time to consult a professional.

Be mindful.  Find ways to be mindful of your environment.  Use methods of relaxation such as, meditation, guided visions, prayer, yoga, acupuncture or massage to help you find your center.

Do not be afraid to ask for help.  It really is ok to seek help from friends, family, support groups or therapists.   An occasional meltdown or venting outburst is not unhealthy when you have reached your limits.  Others may give you ideas about how to manage some of your feelings in a more productive way.

Go on dates.  It is most important during these difficult times to remember why you love each other.  Take time out to just be a couple without focusing on a baby.

Be kind to your self and partner.  You may sometimes need to build yourself up by doing things that inspire you.  Read inspiring quotes, listen to music, dance,  arts/crafts, garden, write affirmations, journal, or do what you enjoy.  It is important not to forget the hobbies and activities that make you-you.


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