Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won’t feel isolated. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: It’s all in your head! Why don’t you relax or take a vacation. Then you’ll get pregnant!
Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: Don’t worry so much — it just takes time. You’ll get pregnant if you’re just patient.
Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a “spontaneous cure rate” of about 5% after a year of infertility. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: If you adopt a baby you’ll get pregnant!
Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not a happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: Why don’t you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!
Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!
Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.
Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: Perhaps this is God’s way of telling you that you two aren’t meant to be parents!
Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: Infertility is nature’s way of controlling population.
Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be child-free or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: I shouldn’t take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason… I just know that this next month will be THE one!
Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: I’ll be labeled a ‘trouble maker’ if I ask too many questions.
Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don’t be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.
A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: I know I’ll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.
Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider child-free living or begin to think of other ways to build a family. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
Myth: I’ve lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!
Fact: Infertility is a life crisis — it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences. (Information provided by www.resolve.org)
This week on Resolve’s web page they are allowing bloggers to submit myth busting posts (http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/bust-a-myth-blog-submissions.html). I was reading through the submissions and noticed many people are submitting posts that bust the same myths. This tells me a couple of things….. they are the biggest myths out there and they are the biggest hot button issues for those experiencing infertility. Here are the common themes currently:
- Just Relax
- Secondary Infertility –conceiving one or more child without any intervention, and having to seek intervention for another pregnancy.
- Age – Posts varying between you waited too long to start trying and/or that you are too young to have infertility issues
- Should Be Happy With One – following a successful pregnancy via medical intervention or adoption, you should be happy with having one baby and not expect to have another child.
- Infertility Ends at Birth – once you have a baby, you are no longer plagued by infertility.
- Giving Up – stopping fertility treatments or adoption process and making the decision to remain childless is considered giving up.
- IVF Always Works or IVF is the Only Option
- Infertility is a Lady Problem
- Infertility is Only Caused by Serious Medical Conditions
- Trying is Fun
- You Have Pleanty of Time
- Stop Trying and You Will Get Pregnant
- Everyone Follows the Same Treatment Plan
- Marriages Rarely Survive Infertility
- Stress Causes Infertility
- The Second One is Easier – Having one kid with medical intervention will make it easier to have a second kid naturally.
- Conceiving is Easy, Just Have Sex
- Adoption is Faster and Easier
- International Adoptions are Easier than Domestic
- Higher Being’s Way of Telling You That You Are Not Meant to be a Parent, Don’t Deserve to be a Parent, or Natural Selection (Not Overpopulating)
- Fertility Treatments are Unnatural
- Infertility is not a Disease
- You are Trying to Hard
- Fertility Treaments Always Result in Multiples
- If You Don’t Have Kids, You Must Not Like Them
- Infertility Should Not Be Talked About
- Infertility is a Private Matter
- Support People Should Always Be Kept in the Loop on your Infertility Struggles
- It is Selfish Not to Adopt
- Infertility Treatments are Covered by Insurance
- Positive Thinking Leads to a Baby
- It is Funny to Joke about Infertility
- Adopting is Risky- birth mother will want to take child back or the babies are damaged.